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Confrontational…

The down side to “everyone share” is that you don’t learn how to be respectfully confrontational. Like Milton not demanding his piece of cake, the inability to confront what you don’t like is dangerous. And eventually leads to an unexpected, and often unpredictable outburst.

The same is true for competition. How can you learn to be a good sport, to win graciously and lose gracefully, if you never know who won or who loss? Are those tough lessons to learn? Of course, like anything important in life.

In sales, there is an occasional call to be confrontational. The entire sales process is effectively a debate. The client doesn’t realize that they need a good or service, the sales pro engages the individual with the intent of creating that realization. That “aha” moment.

It is confrontation at its finest.

Why is it most of America views salesmen as pushy? As rude? As jerks? Because those three characteristics mark an individual who is confrontational, but in the wrong way. Whereas President Obama (whether you agree with his policies or not) is never considered rude, but he is confrontational. One need only look at the health care debates to see that. What then is the trick? How can a person be confrontational, without being a jerk?

It starts with respect. Whether I agree with someone or not, I try to respect their position. No matter how blatantly wrong I believe it to be.

Secondly, I know I’m right. My products are the best in the market, and Company X needs the best. I’ve researched it, studied it, weighed the variables, and I know my Super Widgets will create more profit and cut costs.

Armed with the knowledge that I am right, I can now confront their arguments and disbelief with patience. Patience is the key. Frustration leads to anger, whereas patience leads towards change. Like the river washing over a rock, slowly wearing it down. A patient, well crafted argument can wear down the strongest opposition.

Lastly, don’t be like an elephant. After a particularly difficult sales meetings, full of confrontation and heated words; let it go. Elephants, the proverb goes, never forget. I say forgive. It was a heated discussion, you said your piece and it’s best to let it go at that.

A word of warning however: Learn when to walk away. There will be situations where everything is conspiring against you. It’s almost like a trap. If I may quote De Niro from the movie Ronin “Lesson one: If there’s doubt, there’s no doubt.” Meaning if you’re instincts are telling you it’s a bad situation, trust them. Choose your battles, and commit to them.

To sum up: Respectful confrontation is built upon patience, confidence, and the ability to let it all go. It’s nothing new,